PERIODic PAIN

Today another little girl had to give up a good portion of her freedom.

I don't give a d*** about what the stupid advertisements say -- happy period, indeed! Periods are a pain in the ASS!

I am for all things natural and beautiful, even if it means a bit of an ache here and a pain there. But menstruation? I just don't get it.

Couldn't there have been an easier way of nature communicating our readiness to procreate? Couldn't there have been a simpler way of reaffirming month after month that we are in good health and that our body is functioning the way it's meant to?

I would gladly settle for any of these alternatives – an ugly mole on the left buttock, 2 pimples erupting every 28 days. Or even just plain old stomach cramp for an hour every month; But does it have to be this much of a 'bloody' pain every month. 

When I heard of this little one getting her first periods, all that I could think of was giving her a big, long hug as she bids good bye to all things simple... and then I worried about how I would react to my girls going through this. I can't wish this away – after all it's a sign of good health.

I remember my own initiation. In the summer of 1986, soon after my 12-year run as the baby of the family ended (my niece, the first grandchild, made her appearance). I was spending a few days of the vacation at my crazy-funny aunt's house. Unable to control her fit of giggles, she dropped the laundry she was doing -- when she made the 'discovery' -- and rushed her two sons and me into a rickshaw. All that I remember of the 5km-ride home was how hysterically giggly my aunt was.

When my mum explained what the drama was all about, I found little to be amused about.

Yes, at 12 I had no clue what I was in for. Despite growing up in a household of women -- mum, aunts, 3 sisters and a multitude of girl cousins, and studying in an all-girls convent, I was blissfully ignorant of the P word.

And I can't forgive my mum or sisters for not preparing me for this.

I remember early-bloomer friends of mine discussing 'monthlies' the previous year and when I asked them what they were talking about, they pointed out a movie poster at the bus stop. Sly Stallone's First Blood. I made the connect only that summer.

Yes, I was dumb and ignorant! WAS is the keyword here...

I don't let my Periods (however, painful) cramp my style. I still keep with my routine. But WE (I and every other woman) have earned the right to be ill-tempered about it, and crib to our heart's content.

It's just not about 'chums' (why such a benign monicker for something so mean?), it's about everything that goes with it. 

The bleeding, the cramps, the crankiness, the embarassment of a stained skirt on a public bus or watching the Carefree advert on telly with your boy cousins and wishing you could disappear!

The breasts, rounding your shoulders in the hope of making it less evident, and frustration that it doesn't work; the lecherous stares, the bras, straps biting into your shoulders, the tenderness, the hormones, the acne...

Yes, guys have their pubescent woes too... but why does ours have to be so much more 'out there' for all to see? Just when we think we are done with this, then it's time for hot flashes, night sweats and hair on your chin.

Oh, I am all for loving who we are and celebrating womanhood. Just wish it were a little less celebration on these lines.

My Mind is a Drunken Monkey

As I sit down to blog, my mind flits across so many cues. So I decide, what the heck?, let me just write the way my mind feels now. Like a drunken monkey.

Am I two-faced because:

I can detest someone as a professional and still love them as a person;

I can respect someone immensely for their work, yet feel cold towards them as a person;

I can find a million faults in my closest friends, yet don't feel any negativity towards them;

I can find a million virtues in someone I dislike, and still not give them a chance...

Does this make me two-faced, or just someone who can balance things well?

***************

A colleague asked me if something I mentioned in an earlier post referred to her.

I was not only a little taken aback, but also intrigued that she wanted to know.

For one, what if I had said it was her. How would she have taken it? And isn't it best to assume the best about yourself, unless explicitly stated otherwise?

**S, this is about you :)**

I haven't shared this blog with my family -- who try to read every bit of crap I write, in support of the career choice I've made. I like the privacy of writing something personal in a public forum.

But I guess that's an oxymoron. Privacy on a blog.

Still social networking sites and blogs could well blur the line between professional and personal interactions. A line that I used to take arrogant pride in maintaining well.

****************

Not till a couple of weeks ago did it hit me that I don't hug and hold and pet and pamper Nilah, the way I used to Oviya. Yes, I do everything that is NEEDED. Feed, change, massage, bathe... Needed, done.

I am so conscious of upsetting O, that I am guarded in displaying my affections with N.

Then my buddy Amira (3 kids wise) recounted how the first time she held and hugged her second born was when he was 1 year old. When the older one was asleep, and the husband was away. She held Karim for a couple of hours, giving him all the exclusive attention due to him.

Until then I thought being the youngest was the best thing in the world. 'Cos, I am the youngest of four, and never tire of the pampering I receive.

But on second thoughts, I never had my parents' focussed attention.

Now I make it a point to hug N at every given opportunity. If O is around, I ask her to join in. Or sometimes, I remind her that when she was this small Amma and Appa were all hers, EXCLUSIVELY.

I still pay O more attention, because the lack of it will affect her more than N. However, I am slowly trying to bring in a balance. For starters, I ask O to not disturb N and me during feed times, so that her baby sister is fed properly and doesn't stay hungry or cranky.

Baby steps. Tiny, little baby steps in balancing the 2 girls in my life.

Someone whom I admire immensely as a writer has expressed this journey so much more beautifully.

****************

The sutures have healed, the memories of pain are distant. And already a wicked little voice in my head is asking: "Wouldn't it be nice to have one more. Just one more...?"

****************

I don't want to think about it. I want to pretend that it's a long way off or not happening at all. But it is. M -- my 'bestest' friend (as O calls her) in Doha -- is packing up. Who will I call for advice? To crib? To take out shopping... who will I bully, though she is a couple of years older to me. I just don't want to think about it. I will have to eventually, when I reach for the phone one of the evenings and realise she is not around to answer my call.

****************

We have made the most 'Gulf-Mallu' (GM) of all decision (second only to buying gold). We are buying a WHITE TOYOTA as a second car, and for exactly the same reasons that we laughed at others for. Good Resale Value. And we are only half GM. How did this happen to us. Do you automatically become a GM after 10 years in the 'Gelf'.

And talking about 10. We came here for just 1 year, in 1999. And every year we stayed on for just 1 more.

... the Monkey in my mind will continue to wander.

Small Change? Big Deal.

I refuse to take toffee for change. I simply refuse, and I don't mind waiting and holding up the checkout line, but I will insist on getting my change and not some stupid chewing gum or toffee that is never consumed.

I have a draw of these, 'cos husband dear doesn't mind. Especially if it involves cute Filipinas flashing a smile and extending polo for the riyal they owe.

But not me. I find it difficult to believe that large supermarkets don't have enough change on them? Ridiculous.

And here is the latest in my 'small change' experience.

I happen to have an account in arguably the worst bank in town, the Standard Chartered.

For canceling a debit card I didn't ask for, hence didn't collect, they charged me Qr25. I complained to the customer service desk there, and said the charge of Qr75 (instead of 25, and it was a genuine slip of the tongue) had to be reversed. And the exec came back saying it was 'only' 25 (and obviously from his expression the unsaid was "what's the big deal"). 

The 'Only' 25 was earned by leaving my kids at home and going to work. It was earned by using my brains. It was earned by dedicating my time to a task. So I snapped, even if it's just 25dhs, I want it back.

They looked at me incredulously... and I glared at them ready to snap. They have promised to look into it and get back to me.

The issue is not the 'amount'. It is the principle. If I WISH to burn 25 bucks I will do it as I see fit, not because someone thinks it's small change.

And since I've already named the bank, let me name the supermarkets too -- Lulu: Every time. Every single time. Anything less than a riyal is never returned in currency. 

FFC fumbles too, but rather rarely.

I just hate the way people are dismissive of 'small' change. Other people's 'small' change that is.

People

It was only after I moved away from home, family and madras, did I get a clear perspective of what people were really like.

After living all my life in one particular kind of environment and routine, I had no real ‘separation’ to see things for what they were.

You realise whom you thought of as overbearing was just a caring sister.

The person who questioned your decisions and criticised your actions was only being a true friend.

The colleague who spent every night at your place was probably just sponging off you…

Put some distance. That's when you get a clear filter.

That’s when you learn to separate the chaff from the grain.

Like the management joke that goes – not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, not everyone who pulls you out of shit is your friend…

It’s merely a myth that the more time you spend with a person, the better you know him/her. You need distance to gauge a person.

After being ensconced in a routine of sorts over the last 5 years, I got my distance and my space, when I took a break for my second pregnancy.

So you move away, and see yourself and the people around you from a telescopic distance. And their character just pops up. Like pieces of a puzzle things just fall in place.

The insecurity behind a person’s martyr act;

the defensiveness behind a person’s long drawn explanations;

the rabble-rousing behind the uncalled for confidences;

the guilt behind a person’s exaggerated laugh;

and also the trustworthiness behind a person’s brutal honesty;

straightforwardness behind their indifference;

the care behind the non-stop calls;

the warmth behind the silence…

You get to see people for what they are when you remove yourself from the environment.

Just as distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder, it also helps in shaking yourself out of false intimacies.

But that doesn't mean you won't repeat the mistakes, trust blindly and get taken for a ride. It just means that you fall a little less harder the next time around.

Antenatal hormones can really bring out the philosopher in you.

Conspiracy theories

1. Someone has fixed KKR to take revenge on SRK. Has to be, otherwise, no team can do that badly!
2. Someone is playing a bad practical joke on me. When I am careful about what I eat, and try staying healthy, I gain weight at an alarming pace. And when I am stuffing my face with all I can eat, my metabolism seems to be behaving itself. Is it just because of breastfeeding? Or am in some kind of freakish reality show, unknown to myself?
3. The Central Bank prints trick currency. The more earn, the less I have.
4. Marks & Spencer’s employs people exclusively to fleece me. When I go to their sales, every single piece that catches my fancy or fits me, is in the non-sale category.
5. Credit card companies use a special chip that hypnotises you into believing that you can afford stuff you absolutely can’t (and don’t need).
6. Samosas and gulab jamuns were invented by skinny anorexic b****** to screw those of us who have no self control whatsoever.
7. Just when I manage to garner sympathy for the tough life I have, husband makes a public display of helping with everything and daughters act like little angels. When I am fast asleep, I am sure the 3 plot on how to show me up.
8. The merchandisers/designers of Indian lingerie companies are definitely male or are women who are woefully lacking. How else can you explain the lack of appropriate cup sizes in Indian-made/marketed bras?
   

MY VERY OWN AWARD

I got the idea from Shyam's post. I am pretty sure the purpose of her post was to discourage more awards, and I am doing just the opposite.
But this is how MY AWARD works.
You are supposed to pick a blog that really impressed you, but it can't be someone you know. Not even virtually. It has to be a blog you stumbled upon or walked into through links. It can't be a blogger you have built an online relationship with.
I will do this every month.
I am tagging Shyam **wicked**, Teesu, Blogeswari and the winner of the award to do the same. And anyone else interested in doing this.
The May Award goes to HER.
'Cos she is funny and sarcy, and a lot of her posts I can identify with. And she is a fellow Chennaivasi (I didn't say you can't be jingoistic).
I stumbled upon her blog through the comments section of a blogger friend.

25 random facts about me OR Ego Tripping

I’ve been tagged on this by many people on FB and blogs. So here goes…
1. I have 2 given names and they both represent the same Hindu goddess. Shows the height of indifference of an atheistic father who gave in to the will of his 3 older daughters and father, by accepting both options.
2. I have an irrational, hysterical fear of lizards. I lose all reason and bearings at the sight of one.
3. My mother is the single most important person in my life (barring my daughters). At 35 I still am greatly influenced by what she proscribes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t piss her off and fight with her.
4. I HATE COOKING. So I don’t.
5. I have a thing for Mallu men. Ended up marrying one.
6. I hate mixing professional and personal life, and try with rather great success to not merge working relationships with friendships.
7. In the many roles I play, the truest is at work. In every other – friend, sister, mum, wife, daughter – I take the other person into consideration, and don’t hesitate to put aside my interests. At work, I play myself with great abandon. That’s the real me with all the negatives and positives out on uninhibited display.
8. I am by nature very friendly, but take a long time making friends. And once I’ve done that, it’s invariably, for life. I have friends from KG whom I am still in touch with.
9. People feel I put an inordinate amount of effort in my friendships. I tend to agree.
10. I make excellent chicken, though I am a vegetarian.
11. I have severe bouts of depression that only certain friends can pull me out of.
12. I feel handicapped if I am not reading a book.
13. I am extremely jealous of anyone who can write humorously (without being mean). There is no better writing than that which makes people laugh or lighten their worries.
14. I multi-task more effectively and more effortlessly than most people I know.
15. I am not VAIN. Though MS spell check never fails to suggest this alternative for my name!
16. I had a crush on Anil Kumble for the longest time. In fact, conned some gullible colleagues that I was engaged to him!
17. Dark skinned men are a big TURN on.
18. Call it envy or scepticism (or plain old b****iness), but I tend to be dismissive of a lot of mediocre blogs that seem unreasonably popular.
19. I believe men ARE better at humour, chess and chilling out.
20. I actually DO LIKE Doha. Even I find it hard to believe I do.
21. I believe in capital punishment.
22. I don’t believe in corporal punishment in schools.
23. I love hanging around airport lounges and second class railway compartments. You can never get bored.
24. I love the bread omelette and tomato soup on Brindavan Express (Chennai-Bangalore).
25. I don’t trust easily, and am innately suspicious of most people.

If you haven’t done this, you are tagged.

reeling

back to doha!
back to backbreaking routine.
back to blogging?

Madras Musings II

Finding domestic help seems to be increasingly difficult here. While this does create inconveniences, it’s definitely a very encouraging and hopeful sign.

There are more productive job opportunities available
The lot of the class of people traditionally veering towards domestic work has improved
The children of domestic workers are better educated, hence don't follow in the footsteps of their parents
Those who still go in for this job are expecting better pay, terms and treatment
Those at the receiving end of the lack of help are beginning to appreciate the help they have received in the past

It makes me smile… even though I worry that my ageing parents and parents-in-law suffer because of inadequate help. But I guess we can either live with a little dust and grime, or learn to clean up after ourselves.

Tagged

This is a tag from Deeps. The rule is - I'm supposed to be pasting an image for every answer of mine, from the first page of google image search, with minimal explanation.So, here I go....



1. The age you will be in your next birthday: 35





2. A place you’d like to travel to: Tawang



3. Your Favourite place: The terrace outside my room, at mum’s place. Such a great hang out for my friends and me during school and college. (Looks nothing like the pic. Far, far more modest a place than this.)



4. Your favourite food/drink: Masala Dosai and Filter coffee. And Vodka.

5. Your favourite pet: Like dogs. But not a major pet person.

6. Your favourite colour combination: Orange and Pink

7. Your favourite piece of clothing: Bootleg Jeans

8. Your all time favourite song: So many. But to choose -- Leaving on a jet plane…both Denver and Chantal versions.

9. Your favourite TV show: Grey’s Anatomy & Ugly Betty amongst current. FRIENDS is an all time fave.

10. Full name of your significant other: Bungeecowboy is what he likes to be called.

11. The town in which you live in: Doha

12. Your screen name/nickname: vanish_forever

13. Your first job: Was selling ice cream makers in a trade fair in my teens.

14. Your Dream Job: Living the dream. A journalist.

15: Bad Habit you have: Never trusting a compliment.

16. Your worst fear: Losing someone I love. Literally and otherwise.

17. The one thing you’ll like to do before you die: Educate at least one child (in need) other than mine from primary to higher, and see him/her successful in a career of his/her choice.

18. The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000: I would set up a lending library for children, charging only a maintenance fee. And then indulge myself guilt-lessly, having done my good deed.

And I hereby tag, Shyam, Teesu, Blogeswari, MG, Usha (when she gives me her blog id), Inbavalli.

Madras Musings I

Been back in Madras for a little over a week now and there are so many random thoughts going through my mind.

Recession seems to have hit a precious few. People are still spending, and the flash of plastic can be seen everywhere – from the grocers’ to the computer store.

-----------------------------------------

Everyone. And I mean EVERYONE has a mobile phone. 3-member households have 4 phone connections including the landline…

-----------------------------------------

The civic sense of the Madrasis has only deteriorated… If there is something lower than rock bottom that is. If you are at a traffic signal, chances are that at least 3 people are spitting in your direction. Wherever you maybe.
And the ‘have penis-will pee everywhere’ mentality continues. The Madras-man is so unashamed of unzipping his pants (or hitching his lungi) to pee, even if it’s on the crowded Nungambakkam High Road or Mount Road.

-----------------------------------------

The Woodlands Drive-in is no more. I never liked the food there, and was always amazed at how unabashedly, unhygienic the joint was, and how it managed to attract such a massive clientele. Yet, the place was an ideal meeting place for many. A place where lovers met. A place where the weary traveller stopped. Where marital alliances were often fixed. Where journalists met their sources. Where politicians convened. Now it’s nothing.
I live around the corner from where it once used to be. I still can’t get used to the empty sprawling piece of horticultural society land. The shut gates, and the muddy area around it, provides a good open air toilet.

-----------------------------------------

There seems to be fewer walls than political parties. Every public wall is filled with combinations of red and black. One corrupt politician vying with the next, to get the attention of a weary population.

-----------------------------------------

Anyone over the age of 12 in M Karunanidhi’s family seems to be assured a cabinet post. Is there no end to a man’s greed? No end to nepotism?

-----------------------------------------
The music scene is on full swing. And no amount of ‘Yaaru Ootla Party’ kind of songs and its popularity, erases the enthusiasm for Margazhi festival.

-----------------------------------------

Chennai is cool and pleasant for most part of the day. Yes, it’s true. I am not kidding.

-----------------------------------------

The autorickshaw drivers’ greed seems to have plateaued. No great hike in their fares since last year.

-----------------------------------------

And every other teenage girl has rebonded hair. I really miss seeing the frizzy Madrasi hair that I seem to have held on to, despite being away from the city.

-----------------------------------------

So Madras has 2 more newspapers than it’s been used to for so many decades. Unfortunately, neither are real value adds.

… random thoughts will continue

I hate admitting this…

…But I do think I am a workaholic. Though I was eager to take the break, days before I left Doha I had my apprehensions. And now I am SO BORED!!!!! I miss my routine. Of work, of running my home… I even miss O’s school and her homework. All this defined my day and life, and now I feel restless.
I am sure it will pass, and I will become the lazy cow I love being.

how heavy is your life?

what's the deal with people who have so many dislikes, so many hang ups, so many biases... how do they unwind or just get on with life.

these are well educated people i am talking about -- who can't seem to tolerate people or opinions that are not a mirror image of self.

In short, for these people: if you are not of the same caste or religion, don't speak the same language, have the same quirks, enjoy the same movies or move in a certain circle, then you don't deserve a chance to be respected or tolerated.

If you are so wound up and lost in your prejudices, how do you get a good night's sleep?

They didn't punch me in my stomach. Thanks for the advice!

Last evening I took O and three of her friends out for a movie (Madagascar 2) and dinner.

R advising O before we left: "Don't trouble Amma. Listen to her. Don't fight with each other (friends not me). And don't let anyone punch her in the stomach because she is pregnant."

Now, was he giving O and her friends an idea or what?! Because it is not like people routinely punch me in my stomach, pregnant or otherwise!

For what it was worth, they didn't punch me on my stomach.

PS: The movie sucked. No story to speak of, and really boring lines. Nothing catchy. Stupid. And why should a Giraffe fall in love with a Hippo. Isn't it unethical for 2 different breeds to hook up? It didn't help that I am not a fan of animation films.

Why Khan is a Bollywood title, not a surname

CAST: M=O’s best pal (6 ½ years old); Umm M=Mother of M; O=my first born

M: I want to be an Astronaut

Umm M: Oh, that’s good

M: O wants to be an Astronaut too

Umm M: Really? But her mother told me O wants to be an actor

M: What? Then she will have to be O Khan is it?

150 things to do before 30

This tag is from MG. I will be 35 in a few months, but most of what I've marked I did before I turned 30!
You’re supposed to make “bold” the things you have done.
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive (but will do it soon!)
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (A cricket game and tennis)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower (unforgettable. also the night i tore my ankle ligament)
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight (too many, too often)
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster (a tiny one)
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment (all the time)
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends (still do)
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach (R's wooing style)
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day (too often)
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites (in Greece, Lebanon and India)
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days (you are joking?!)
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage (at college, it counts right?)
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music (For my own ears only)
87. Eaten shark (before i turned veg. soraputu, for those who are curious)
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (only a part of it... but I was over 30 by then!)
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication (bread and butter for me)
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse (in Kodaikanal. those silly touristy things)
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi (veg sushi)
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream (sometimes a dream, sometimes a nightmare)
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair (i'm greying)
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life (kind of... an accident victim on chennai streets who was just lying there. took him to the hospital. the doctor saved his life)


The tag applies to anyone reading this.

maybe you have nothing to say, but i am still asking. why?

i have this counter going on the blog. sometime earlier this year i got rid of it. because it started controlling my moods. on a good count day i was all confident and high; on a bad count day i was full of self doubt.
then the blog and i came to an understanding. we are there for each other, first and foremost. rest is only coincidental. so i started a new counter. and then i also added the mapping widget. through this little window i know the location of the numbers. people who stumble into or seek out my blog.
on an average there are about 100-120 hits a week, of late.
some i know are repeat visitors.
i have a lot to say on my blog. and i have a lot to say on other people's blogs, as well. and i am wondering why these folks have nothing to say on mine? why are they not de-lurking?
and i've tried to reason out why so few (or hardly any) of those who drop by actually comment.
here are my Top 10 reasons why most passers-by don't comment:
1. they are so overwhelmed by my wit and skill, they are speechless.
2. they are secret admirers and have a fan club going behind my blog-back.
3. they don't understand what i write.
4. they mock me in silence, as they are too polite to voice what they really think.
5. i am plain boring.
6. they landed here by mistake. they were looking for quiet qatar not quite qatar.
7. the widget folks, in a bid to popularise their products, are doctoring the counter and mapping.
8. a glitch in technology doesn't deliver the comments to my box.
9. they are scared that by commenting, they'd encourage me to ramble on further.
10. it's all maya!

The Unquirky me

I tagged myself to this -- to reveal 5 quirky aspects of my personality. From wordjunkie & nithya -- two blogs I stumbled upon recently.


Now I thought this would be fun and easy. However, I realise that I can't think of anything quirky or unconventional about me. I am so BORING, and that depresses me.

When I really think about it, whatever I like to term as quirks are merely very annoying (to others) habits.

The one thing that comes close to quirky -- I like to wake up groggy 'overslept'. If I am able to wake up without a problem, or have a nap that is shorter than an hour, I feel very cheated.

Apart from that, zilch cute and nice and unconventional things I can honestly attribute to myself. I adjust to most situations, don't have a favourite blanket or teddy or whatever, and think through most issues with my head (even if the initial reaction had been emotional).

But I am going to take the liberty of listing other people's quirks that I find endearing, without mentioning names:

1. A friend not only goes around her car checking all the doors, but insists that whoever is with her double checks the locks too. She does the same with taps!
2. Another friend goes to sleep at 9 sharp. Come what may... even if she is in the midst of a boisterous group of people, she will just nod off.
3. Someone I know can't resist freebie offers. His wife tells me they have enough free mugs and spoons to set up a store.
4. O loves saying the word 'Pregnant' and uses it at least a dozen times a day. Either reminding me I am pregnant, or announcing to everyone she meets -- from the laundry man to the bored neighbour -- that her mother is pregnant. That's quirky quickly going sour...
5. A cousin of mine touches every idol or image of an idol at the home he is exiting (even if it's one he was only visiting, or one he was exiting for the 5th time that day). Can be quite tricky when you want to make a quick exit!

Now, in turn the tag automatically applies to anyone who reads this post.

The Ungreen Thumb

I have the opposite of a green thumb, and though I have gotten over the initial desperation, something still pricks (and it ain't a thorn in my rose bush!).
I have even managed to kill a potted cactus (and I live in a desert!).
My mum, mil, sister are all fantastic gardners, and can grow just about anything. But me? A green tragedy.
And I get terribly jealous when I see other bloggers like Shyam and MG boast about their gardens, i want to do a 'me too' post.

A few months ago I bought a 'money plant' for O's school project. Supposed to be the easiest plant to grow.
I wish I could say it now looks like this:


Despite me staying away from it and R & O tending to it, it now looks like this:


O refuses to get rid of it, and waters it, in the hope that it will come back to life!

To make up for my 'brown' thumb & deadly vibes, I make do with these (sigh!)...

yipppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeee it's Obama

He is not even my president, but why am I so excited?
Cos he's HOT!