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Thursday, December 06, 2007

with kids there are more questions than answers...

...will anyone disagree?

what's the right thing to do?
Praising your child for everything s/he does or, be selective?
Set the bar high or not?
Get them involved in a lot of activities? Or is that too taxing?
Expect them to succeed or is that putting too much pressure on them?
Explain/answer everything, and they end up being argumentative.
Shout at them, and they grow up angry.
Hit them and they grow up too meek or too violent.
Coddle them too much, and they never do grow up.
Do everything for them, and they are not independent.
Expect them to be independent, and they grow up too quickly.
Not switching the channel when there is a sensuous scene makes them precocious.
Switch the channel, and they become secretively promiscuous.
THEN THE REAL BIG QUESTION
All that you do for your child, what you hope she becomes, when you want her to excel... is it for her. for you. or for the people around you?
is it in competition with other kids/parents?
AND A STILL BIGGER QUESTION
can there be one simple answer to this -- how do we stop ourselves from really messing up our kids?
that they don't carry their upsets/disappointments/betrayals/insecurities into adulthood. just as most of us have...
brings to mind a line from Savage Garden "...I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do..."
I believe that.
Just hope my little one believes that too.

1 comment:

Teesu (very very Indian, very very good) said...

Parenting IS the biggest challenge in life. But it is also taken toooo seriously by some these days and toooo casually by others. I introspect and think my parents did a good job on me in somme respects. Whatever areas THEY needed corrections in, i am experimenting with that on MY daughter, ha, ha. Look, she will hate and love me at the same time anyway, so am not going to bother as long as she is well and happy and mostly does the right thing. What say?