starters: cashews, mixed with stale cornflakes, with warm seasoning and salt.
main course: open packet of ready to cook pasta, add to bowl of warm water, some butter, 8mts in the microwave. an expert cook will stir the mixture every 3 mts to obtain right consistency.
dessert: crumbled marie biscuits topped with left over ice cream, for a smooth crumbles.
beverage: strongest alcohol in the house, to get guests drunk, before they begin to ponder over the meal served.
ps: the devil is in the details, so don't scrounge. bring out your best china. not the disposables.
psssttt: make sure you receive your guests wearing a frilly apron, and strategically placed flour on your forehead and nose.