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Thursday, July 31, 2008

girl pals vs guy pals

i often hear women tell me that they get along far better with guys than with gals. that they find it easier to confide in men... and i wonder how that's possible.
i've never heard a guy tell me he gets along better with the girls. that his best friends are women not men!
is it my all girls school/college upbringing coupled with a household primarily made up of women? three sisters, mum, helpers, sundry cousins and aunts dwarfed the influence my dad and the few other visiting men had on our lives.
even after all four of us were married, only one gave birth to a son. so the dominance of women continued... my brothers-in-law and husband are most often spectators to an amusing (i assume) show. i am married into a family where again there are more women.
so for me, despite the sizeable number of 'good' male friends, girls are the best buddies.
but for all that, in most places i've worked, i've been amongst the minority. For a total of 4 years of my working life, i have been the only woman in the office/department.
and i feel that's the best work environment to be in for me.
when it comes to colleagues at work, i prefer the male of the species.
not because of the total myth that they gossip less -- oh man! can they gossip. and with such viciousness that we women can't even begin to compete.
i like them because they are low maintenance. they don't complicate -- a word is not given a thousand unintended meanings. they don't break into tears at the drop of a hat. they can take a professional argument without assuming it's a personal assault. and if you are not particularly inclined to carry your professional relationship outside of the workplace and become 'friends', they can live with it. as is always the case, there are exceptions to this rule.
still, when it comes to bonding and buddy power, i need my girls.
apart from my husband, i can't think of confiding in another man the things i would to a gal pal. there are things i wouldn't confide even to my husband, though over the dozen years of knowing each other, he probably is my best pal.
so, the judgemental me, wonders what insecurity in women drives them to claim that a being who shares none of their physical, emotional and mental patterns, is a better friend than one of their own.
is it because they haven't met the right women? or haven't i met those right men...
but how would i discuss with a man my pms woes, blood clots, morning sickness, sexual satisfaction or lack of it, the soreness of my breasts, the discomfort of discharge, the lack of good bras, the need for a good sob, the humiliation of being ogled at, the highs of being wooed…
how would a man understand things about women, that the woman herself hasn't fully yet?
a salute to my gal pals. and to the guy pals for being great, even if they are not my best, friends.


Teesu said...

Guy pals can enrich your life in a particular way that gal pals cannot. Still, gal pals are indispensable...while guy pals...are really not. (even though they are very healthy, bringing interesting perspectives to life and adding COLOUR!);)

umm oviya said...

yes true. guys are great pals. just that i don't get women who claim that women buddies don't work for them.