why is it so difficult for us to take a relationship as is? to not compare it with another?
you are not happy just being loved by your mother, you want to know how differently she loves you, how much more, did your sister get a bigger/better piece of the cake, are they more proud of your achievements than your siblings'...
but it's not just about vying for your parents' approval or attention. it happens at every stage of life.
is your bum-chum a little too pal-ly with the other friend? are there secrets that you are not privy to? does he/she have more fun with other people than with you?
then at work. it's not enough to be thrilled with your appraisal or bonus, you need to be more thrilled than the next person. your happiness is not necessarily pegged to the nature of your promotion or the hike in your pay, it is also influenced by how much more you've earned than your colleague.
and all those insecurities and fear we transfer to the most important relationship in our life... with our children.
it's not enough if he/she is smart at school, we search for a position, for a reference point... smarter than x, y or z's child? but if you catch on to this early, you would be wise to put a stop to it -- to not weigh down your child with your unrealised ambitions.
it's fortunate that i don't come from a polygamous society (though, i live in one) -- i am the only one he has, so apart from some wishful thinking, there is little else he can do. and i can be complacent in the knowledge that he has only me to come home too...
or am i being naive?
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