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Monday, May 11, 2009

Conspiracy theories

  1. Someone has fixed KKR to take revenge on SRK. Has to be, otherwise, no team can do that badly!
  2. Someone is playing a bad practical joke on me. When I am careful about what I eat, and try staying healthy, I gain weight at an alarming pace. And when I am stuffing my face with all I can eat, my metabolism seems to be behaving itself. Is it just because of breastfeeding? Or am in some kind of freakish reality show, unknown to myself?
  3. The Central Bank prints trick currency. The more earn, the less I have.
  4. Marks & Spencer’s employs people exclusively to fleece me. When I go to their sales, every single piece that catches my fancy or fits me, is in the non-sale category.
  5. Credit card companies use a special chip that hypnotises you into believing that you can afford stuff you absolutely can’t (and don’t need).
  6. Samosas and gulab jamuns were invented by skinny anorexic b****** to screw those of us who have no self control whatsoever.
  7. Just when I manage to garner sympathy for the tough life I have, husband makes a public display of helping with everything and daughters act like little angels. When I am fast asleep, I am sure the 3 plot on how to show me up.
  8. The merchandisers/designers of Indian lingerie companies are definitely male or are women who are woefully lacking. How else can you explain the lack of appropriate cup sizes in Indian-made/marketed bras?


Shyam said...


Wow, the world IS against you, isn't it? :) Re Point 2, enjoy your metabolism while it works in your favour!

umm oviya said...

seems like it doesn't it shyam? poor me...