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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Overcompensating

Yesterday evening at work, after calling for a meeting earlier in the day, I completely forget about it, pack up and walk out of the office – only to hear my colleagues running after me and reminding me that there was a meeting scheduled.
Sheepish, embarrassed and terribly hungry, I head back in.
“We understand, we forgive you,” laughed one colleague.
And another piped up: “Would you be using this is as a trump card now?”
‘This’ referring to my pregnancy.
I was a little taken aback, but knew that the guys were only pulling my leg, so laughed it off.
There I was trying to overcompensate every aspect of my life, so that people don’t turn around and tell me that I am slipping up because of my ‘condition’.
The professional risk is that such slip-ups may well follow in a sweeping generalisation on why women at workplaces pose a problem.
So I’ve been taking on more work than I would usually.
And to top it all, ‘mommy guilt’ is working overtime. In an effort to ensure O doesn’t feel she is missing out on stuff because of Plus, I am on overdrive on that front too.
In any case, after the meeting, just as I was shaking off the embarrassment and trying to set right my hunger, I started to panic. I remembered something else. Earlier in the day, in conversation with a colleague, I couldn’t for the life of me recollect the name of the book I am presently reading. That rarely ever happens to me. I don’t forget names, faces, dates very easily; and here I was 2 hours after reading a few pages, lost for the title.
Is it my old fear? Or can I conveniently blame it on my pregnancy? This once, I wanted to use the pregnancy as an excuse.
And voila, a quick search online reveals that yes, it’s possible. According to Babycenter.Com “Forgetfulness may be your cue to simplify your life.”
But I don’t remember experiencing this during my first pregnancy – or maybe, I am forgetting that as well!

3 comments:

Teesu (very very Indian, very very good) said...

You can't afford to be hard on yourself at this point...and in your um, er, ahem, 'condition'. Delicate and all that:)Just chill.

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