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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

we fight, but we're fine!

After my previous post a friend messaged me asking if it was alright to be so honest about R and my relationship with him. When I asked him, he joked: “You have my permission to be so.”
A couple of others asked me if he had read it, and what was his reaction.
I didn’t realise that there was an issue to begin with – as I saw it, I was paying him a huge compliment. I’d rather share my life with my best friend, than someone who sucks at being a friend, but makes all the right romantic moves as a boyfriend/husband.
Last year when we went to India for our annual vacation, I was advised by at least 4 different people on how I should work on the marriage for the sake of the child. I was taken aback – now, where did that come from.
Apparently, lil Ms O gave graphic and spiced up accounts of every argument and fight her parents had!
We are two highly opinionated and very independent beings – so we disagree. Viciously. But big deal, how many marriages are perfect and trouble free?
Yes, yes – I’ve heard of these weirdos too – who do everything in sync, never argue, always put family harmony over self. They are either cheating on each other; or are compensating for a bad sex life; or had friend-less childhoods; or are just plain bloody boring.
It can’t just be a ‘Great Marriage’!
So to all those who are worried – don’t be. We fight like street dogs… but we survive the wounds and are stronger for it.


sindhu said...

I agree...
I know of couples who call their husbands chetta (brother) as a form of respect and I am shocked!

Teesu (very very Indian, very very good) said...

Maybe the 'great' couples also don't have major friends outside of each other. I know quite a few weirdos like that too. Unfortunately, I know them personally.

mumbaigirl said...

Don't know why people have this idealsied vision of marriage. When in India I was made to understand by some relatives that things may go wrong but one should never admit to them..Talking honestly about marriage is equal to washing one's dirt linen in public for a lot of people

umm oviya said...

seriously... i know couples who hardly even talk to each other or make a difference to each other's lives. yet that relationship is considered better than one where they talk and fight and bond?

Sonia said...

Now I wonder- Is it really weird to do things in harmony and not have to argue and rant to prove ones point in a marriage?

umm oviya said...

it seems odd doesn't it, that any 2 individuals could be totally free of disagreements or opposing views. moreso if your life is so interlinked?